Most of what we’ve been taught about leadership is masculine. It’s about power over people: “leading” with force, fear or incentives. No wonder feminine leadership can feel so radical.
When I say masculine, I’m talking about energy, not gender. This isn’t men versus women. We all carry both energies. Masculine energy is doing energy. Feminine energy is being energy.
Feminine leadership asks for something different: less doing, more being. Less power over, more power with.
Leadership isn’t about telling people what to do. It’s about holding a vision of the world you want, doing the work to bring it into reality, and creating the conditions for others to participate in that vision.
“To lead is to live my example.”
✨ Feminine Leadership Is Magnetic: Pull, Don’t Push
Feminine leadership starts with knowing who you are and owning it fully. Then you take up space. Not in a pushy way, but in your own unique, vibrant and fully embodied way.
And when you do, people listen. You don’t have to force anything. You don’t have to raise your voice or push your point. People pay attention because your presence draws them in.
“Masculine leadership pushes. Feminine leadership pulls.”
🤝 Power With vs. Power Over: You’re Not Here to Carry Anyone
The masculine model says the leader carries everyone. But when you take responsibility for other people’s journeys, you cast them as victims and yourself as the fixer. That’s exhausting, and it keeps everyone small.
Power with starts somewhere else. Everyone in the room is sovereign. Your job isn’t to tell them what to do. It’s to remind them of that sovereignty, mostly by living it yourself.
When you own who you are, you give others permission to do the same. Then you offer tools to help them become even more fully themselves.
The work gets done together. We all grow, and we all win.
🌿 Being: who you are is the medicine
If masculine leadership is about what you do, feminine leadership is about who you are. The most powerful thing you bring isn’t your framework, your beliefs, or even your actions. It’s your presence.
Your predominant felt state, the one you live in most of the time, gets transmitted. Whether you’re holding one client or a room of five hundred, people feel it before they hear a word.
So when you sense tension in the room and feel it in your own body, start with yourself. Breathe. Remind your body about ease, calm and curiosity. Then watch the room follow.
That can be the difference between someone feeling empowered and someone feeling terrified. Your greatest medicine is you.
When you’re that at home in yourself, you don’t have to prove you’re powerful. There’s a graciousness in that.
Not force. Presence. That’s feminine leadership.
🌙 Join the Feminine Leadership Circle in Portland
Maybe you hold space for others: you’re a facilitator, coach, healer or community builder, or you lead a team. If you’re tired of carrying everyone, I’d love to have you in the Feminine Leadership Circle.
It’s a small (on purpose!) group of women who meet in person every other week near SW Portland. We work on leadership and boundaries, hiring, offers, avoiding burnout, and growing your vision. We do it as peers, not as experts and students.
It’s by application, so the room stays intentional.
Apply to the Feminine Leadership Circle →
FAQ
What is feminine leadership? Leadership rooted in being rather than only doing: leading through presence, example and “power with” instead of control.
What’s the difference between masculine and feminine leadership? Masculine leadership is doing energy: action, pushing, power over. Feminine leadership is being energy: presence, magnetism, power with. Everyone carries both.
